One of the things many older people struggle with is loneliness.
In today’s hectic world when we’re pulled between demanding careers, full schedules and often chaotic lives, elderly people can bear the brunt of our busyness.
Having run a nanny and au pair agency for 20 years, Tanya Burrage came to realise there was a need at the other end of the age spectrum.
“Many of our client families have been with the agency for years,” Tanya says. “But now their children are grown and their parents are ageing. Instead of children, I was starting to get enquiries about au pairs for parents.”
Tanya explains that many of her clients were struggling with their schedules.
“What we hear all the time is people saying they’re so busy, they’re working full-time and have three kids. They might live an hour away from their ageing parents and can't pop in to see them every day, but they’re worried about them.”
Realising this could be a widespread problem, Tanya and her team at Dream Childcare decided to extrapolate their offering into eldercare.
“We’ve copied the same model that we use for au pairs with children,” Tanya explains. “You can either have a live-in au pair who might come from Europe and would stay with you for six months or a year, or we have companions who will come in for a minimum three-hour period to spend time with you.”
Rather than providing end-of-life care, the Dream team are focused primarily on companionship for older people who might otherwise be lonely or isolated.
“A lot of other care services are Government funded and highly regulated,” Tanya explains. “Carers will tend to focus on people’s physical needs, helping with showering or dressing. Many are only allowed to provide a person with a microwave-heated meal. But because we’re a private agency our companions will share the meal with the person.
“As they get older, one of the things people begin to miss out on is the simple pleasure of sharing a meal. Even if that’s having piece of toast together rather than just being fed and eating on your own.”
A big part of what au pairs provide is being able to slow the pace down to match the needs of the clients, Tanya says. “Life is so fast, we’re all ‘go go go,’ and that can be quite overwhelming for many elderly people. They want someone who is not under so much time pressure.
“That’s why many families are choosing our service because it means someone will come in and actually spend the time just chatting or taking them on an outing. Someone with patience is a huge part of it.”
Having a young au pair also provides a wealth of opportunity for forging inter-generational connections.
“One of the things we firmly believe is that elderly people have so much information and experience to share,” Tanya says, “It’s not just someone coming in to care for the elderly person, it’s also about them sharing their experiences with someone younger.
“One of our au pairs is 27 and studying part-time. She has lived with a 93-year-old man for the last three years and they have the most amazing relationship. I’m sure she keeps him young, but it works both ways – they have fantastic chats about philosophy and politics and all sorts of stuff.”
There’s also an intergenerational element within the au pair network, Tanya explains.
“There are a lot of older people out there who don’t have grandchildren, and a lot of kids who don’t have grandparents. So, when we have an au pair looking after a two-year-old and another one nearby looking after a 90-year-old, they will get together. We run children’s playgroups each week and the elderly will come along with their au pairs to watch the kids play or read stories to them.
“It’s very much community based which is so important, especially in places like Auckland where often you don’t even know your neighbours.”
While many of the Dream au pairs are young, there are also several who can be closer in age to their clients.
“It’s not just our clients who are moving into the new model, but our carers, too,” Tanya says. “Many of our au pairs have been working with us for a long time and are getting a bit older themselves, so they don't want to be running around after toddlers.”
The companionship solution also works both ways. “We also have quite a few people, all women so far, who are single, maybe in their early 70s and a bit worried about their own retirement,” Tanya explains. “They would potentially rent their own house out for a couple of years and live with someone else to provide support while saving every bit of money that they earn over that period.
“It's about connecting people,” Tanya continues. “Our job is really just about making family life easier for everyone.”
Story by Jo Percival for the Autumn 2025 issue of AA Directions Magazine. Jo Percival is the Digital Editor of AA Directions Magazine.
