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when is it too late to return a vehicle to a dealer if you aren't happy with the car?

ie we brought a car about a month and a half ago, 2 weeks later the alternator went in it, that's ok, fixed under warranty.

Then another 2 weeks later belt tensioners go in the engine, another warranty claim and supposedly dealer will fit the bill.

what if they don't? can we return the car and ask for our money back?

There is no finite timeline, as the Consumer Guarantees Act refers to a "reasonable" time. However you don't necessarily have the right to reject the vehicle if the dealer offers to rectify the problems. The dealer has obligations under the Consumer Guarantees Act, but rectifying the problems can be deemed to be the extent of those obligations.
Generally speaking, the defect would need to be of a serious nature for rejection to be an option, and in this case the defects would not really be classed as serious.
However, as you have only had the car for a short time, the dealer would be responsible for rectifying the problem. If he won't fix the car (or offer you a refund), then you would have strong grounds for the dealer to pay for the repairs, which you would need to seek through the Motor Vehicle Disputes Tribunal.